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What Happens When You Don’t Respect Your Power Tools?
‘Twas a beautiful spring day in 2023. Having just adopted a dog (!), we were upgrading my crappy house to accommodate her. To spare our little Mona Lisa Vito (Yes, that’s her name. I know. Adorable.) from leaping out the back door house hole (as I, myself, had done for the previous twelve years), I finally built some crappy steps. And to keep her from running into traffic (as I, myself, had done… well, just that one time), I built her a fence.
Ah, wouldn’t that be something to brag about? Building a six foot perimeter fence by myself? As if. No, we hired a fence company for this job. Some tasks are just not worth dying for, you know?
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I Hope I Never Forget My Dad
My dad died. I want to tell you about him because, really, he’s the reason you and I know each other. If I didn’t grow up watching my dad do every home repair, remodel, installation, and upgrade by himself, I doubt I would be the (albeit lazy) DIYer I am today. And wtf would I even be (occasionally) blogging about? No one cares about my yarn collection.
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I Built Crappy Steps for the Love of Dog
A few months ago, a thing happened. Well, several things happened, but one thing was a catalyst for the rest of the things. This post is about two of the things. The first one, the catalyst, is a human interest sort of thing (That’s assuming I am interesting (this paragraph not withstanding) and you are interested…) and the second thing is an actual DIY, which may or may not satisfy the seven or so people who still read my blog for that purpose. Anyway, the first thing was this:
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My Favorite Things 2022
I was really on the fence about writing this post. I mean, you haven’t heard from me in ages and this is the post you get after waiting for so long? After watching your inbox every single day. Just hoping… praying… (if that’s your thing) that this would finally be the day? And then suffering another disappointment when there’s, yet again, no email from me…
Gosh, I’m really sorry. I had no idea how much you missed me!
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My Roaring 20s Speakeasy Wedding
It’s Like Déjà Vu
Welcome to my roaring 20s speakeasy wedding! It’s been a hundred years since the roaring 20s, but here we are again with a global pandemic and an economic collapse. It’s like déjà vu. (Or, it would be if any of us were alive to actually experience it the first time around…)
Sometimes it feels like the world is ending, but those folks in the 1920s managed to have a good time in spite of their crappy circumstances and so can we. How do I know? Because we did! Our speakeasy wedding was the cat’s meow and I’m here to tell you all about it!
Finally. I mean, it’s been over a freaking year already. What took me so long?
No, really. I’m asking. I have no idea.
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Before and After | My Crappy Driveway
Let Someone Else DIY for a Change
This is my favorite kind of post. The kind where I get to tell you about a major improvement to My Crappy House that I didn’t have to do myself. Because who even DIYs a freaking driveway anyway? The answer is crazy people and pretentious show-offs. Admittedly, I do usually fall into the latter category (yeah, OK, the former too), and, you’re right, this is a DIY blog, but even I have my limits.
Besides, my steamroller was in the shop…
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How to Install a Peephole in Your Front Door
The doorbell rings. You’re not expecting anyone. Maybe it’s Publisher’s Clearing House with a giant check! (Can you win a sweepstakes you didn’t enter?) Or, perhaps it’s a couple of well dressed, polite young adults wanting to know if you’ve found Jesus. (Amen?) Or, you know, it could be a psychopath who would like to come inside and chop you into little pieces. (No, thank you.) My point is, we live in a world where we need to see who’s at the door before we commit to being home. The peephole is like caller ID for visitors; you get to see who it is before you answer. Want to know how to install a peephole in your front door? I gotchu.
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How to Paint a Panel Door with a Brush
Do You Want to Know What a Panel Door Is?
All I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more. This post turned out to be much longer than I’d anticipated. Yes, it’s about how to paint a panel door with a brush, but it’s become so much more than that. More than I could have ever imagined. Maybe it’s more than you want. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You click the BLUE LINK – you skip right to the information you came here for, and believe… whatever you want to believe. You click the RED LINK – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes…
Welcome to My Rabbit Hole
Yeah. I heard it.
After painting it a lovely shade of gray, and updating the trim, My Crappy House is more attractive than it has ever been! Which… is really not saying very much at all. The landscaping and driveway still look like hell, but those are big ticket items and I just paid for a big ticket wedding. Who has any big ticket money left? Not me!
Painting a crappy front door is one way to gain a little bit of curb appeal without spending big ticket money. If the eyes in your face are the windows to your soul, then the front door to your home is the portal to… your living room, probably. Maybe a foyer, if you’re fancy. (No, not Narnia. That’s a different door.)
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Where Have I Been?
Let’s Get Real
In August of 2020, I told you guys that I was going to try to make a living off of My Crappy Blog because freaking COVID destroyed my (formerly) successful business and what else was I supposed to do with my time? Power watch Netflix? (Because that happened…) Shop on Amazon for things I don’t need with money I don’t have? (The delivery guy was a guest at our wedding…)
Anyway, I promised to post something new every week. And I did post something new every week, up until a few months ago when I fell off the wagon, and I think I may have twisted something because I just haven’t felt right since.
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The Case of the Smelly Dishwasher
My Dishwasher Stinks
In the five years I’ve had my dishwasher, I’ve never cleaned the inside. I mean, it’s self cleaning, right? It gets washed with, like, every single use. So, I never really gave it much thought until it started to smell. Apparently, you’re supposed to clean the inside of your dishwasher once in a while. (I should’ve known. Self cleaning ovens are a big fat lie too.)
So, wtf was causing my dishwasher to smell? To the naked eye, it looked squeaky clean, but something must be causing that odor… It was a mystery, I tell you. (One that could have easily been solved by consulting the user manual, but what fun would that be?) Keep reading to follow my investigation: The Case of the Smelly Dishwasher. (Spoiler alert: I cracked this case wide open and my dishwasher now smells like a freaking meadow.)
