Creatively Cropping Photos to Hide the Truth

Reality Check

When Apartment Therapy asked if they could feature my brick wall on their site (see it here), I was so happy! If I didn’t think I’d break my face, I would have done a cartwheel. 

Their only request: could I supply a more “finished” after pic than this one from Brick Love, Part II?

In a house that is most definitely not even in the same zip code on the same planet as “finished”, this was tricky. I asked my awesome boss if I could skip work the next day (That’s me. I’m the boss…) to set up this shot:

Not bad, right? This new pic is quite a bit better, but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Just in case you thought things were looking awesome at my crappy house, here’s what’s really going on:

Yep. This is my reality. (Notice how I painted just enough of the wall for the photo?) All of the pictures I have shared with you thus far are carefully framed to omit the truth. Because frankly, you can’t handle the truth! (Sorry, I had to…) No, that’s not why. It’s because I live in a junk yard reminiscent of Sanford and Son and it’s sad and who wants to see sad pictures? Isn’t there enough crap in the world to be depressed about? I edit because I care about your happiness and well being. You’re welcome.

I guess I don’t care about you right now though. Brace yourself, because here comes some more sad… Remember my crown molding post?

Creative cropping employed there too…

Oh, the humanity! My dining room is back there somewhere. I know, right? Admit it. You’re a little bit sad for me right now, aren’t you?

Hey, cheer up! Want to play a game? Click to enlarge that picture and see if you can find these items:

  1. A drawer from my desk
  2. Tape measure
  3. Suitcase
  4. Light bulbs x 4
  5. Picture frames
  6. The Cap’n of Crunch and Berry
  7. Level
  8. Vacuum x 2
  9. Lamp
  10. Fire extinguisher
  11. Scratching post
  12. Scissors
  13. Paint roller tray
  14. Glove
  15. Glue
  16. Egor
  17. Egor’s toy

How did you do? I play this game every single day (mostly with keys and shoes), so it’s kinda lost its appeal for me, but I thought you might enjoy it. Here’s the answer key:

Be honest. You would be wasting time online no matter what. You might as well waste it here on my site.

So, that’s it. My reality. I know. You’re shocked. You’re wondering how I live like this. Well, I just do. How do you think Oscar lives in his trash can? The answer is he just does. And he’s a little grouchy. As am I.

The more you support me, the more motivated I am to work on my crappy house so that I can share my accomplishments with you and you can give me the props I so desperately crave. Please like, share, and subscribe!

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22 Comments

  • Mom

    Cute, I do love hidden object games but yours was hard. I only found 8 before I cheated. Also let’s be honest, even after your crappy house is complete and no longer crappy, you will still be searching for your keys and shoes. Mwahaha

  • Charmaine

    I love your humor and joy! Maybe your house is crappy but your heart is beautiful! And who doesn’t look for their keys all the time? I gave up on house keys and have a punch combination lock in my house. Your mom must be fun!

    • My Crappy House

      I looked into those combination locks. I love them, but they’re a little pricey for me right now. Definite future upgrade! My mom is awesome

  • Mary Lee Take

    Love your progress, I don’t feel so bad now about some of the rooms in my house. You’re doing a great job. Keep you head up.

    • My Crappy House

      That’s what I’m here for. Keepin’ it real! DIY ain’t as pretty as it looks on TV…

  • Katherine

    Bwahaha! You and your Mom are too funny! When is this post going to appear in AT, so we can all stalk you? Someday I’ll send you some pictures of my house and believe me, they’ll make you feel much better!

  • Sylvia

    Considering that you are totally remodeling a house by yourself…no TV design crew to do it in one day…I’d say it looks pretty great. No one ever gets through a remodel with everything neat and tidy. Besides…you were able to find those 17 items. That’s better than I do. I lose everything I put down.

    C O N G R A T S on Apartment Therapy. The brick wall looks amazing in both pictures. Keep on going. You’ll get there.

    • My Crappy House

      My way is definitely the scenic route, but even if I were able to have a crew do it in a day, I think I’d still prefer my way. Much more to blog about!

  • Aferal

    As weird as it sounds, I was *just* thinking of you,& wondering if you’d taken a hiatus from this page. Then, I find in my email today an update,&AND you’re going to be on AT! Congratulations! HOORAY YOU!!
    Your projects are genius & I’m uber happy you’re getting the recognitin you deserve, from here on out, you’ll be swamped with requests. You’re gonna be famous!

    P.S. Where did you get the black bench/ storage unit thingy? It’s such a neat juxtaposition of romantic & industrial! My fave style!

    • My Crappy House

      Ha no hiatus for me! I posted last week too, but my mom said she never got her newsletter so maybe there was a hiccup. Anywho…Apartment Therapy ran the feature a couple of weeks ago. (I updated this post to include the link in the first line.) My blog was definitely flooded when that ran! It was awesome

      The cabinet is from a place online called Seven Wonders Furniture, but I got it a few years ago so I’m not sure they still have it. I’m calling it Industrial Victorian. I don’t know why, but I see Victorian in there. I wasn’t quite ready to reveal it, but I had to put some cool stuff in the AT photo! Besides Egor, I mean…

  • Laura

    So lovin’ your little crappy house! Why? Because I live in one too! I would show you my backyard where I just paid $5,000. to have the 35 yr old pool filled in but then you would have a heart attack from seeing my crappy house & couldn’t finish your crappy house & that would make us both sad,as well as your legions of followers (Whew! How’s that for a run on sentence?) Keep up the fantastic work!!

    • My Crappy House

      Crappy house dwellers unite! I feel your backyard pain. I had to dig up my yard twice and my neighbors are probably really tired of looking at the Tyvek wrapping the back of my house, but decrapification takes time! We’ll get there

  • Lu

    Found you via Apartment Therapy and am very excited to watch your house come together. Also I think it’s awesome that you crop and stage photos and then show the actual whole picture. It reminds people that projects like this take time, but are possible and definitely worth it.
    Finally, gotta love the AT comments. Discussion about whether it is, indeed, a REAL brick wall are hilarious. Chill people. Chill.

    • My Crappy House

      Haha yeah, there always seems to be drama in the AT comments… Apparently, my brick was actually a “tile job”. Didn’t feel like a tile job, I’ll tell ya.

      I do try to keep it real here. Things are taking way longer than I expected and I’m living in chaos, but I know it will all be worth it in the end. Thanks for clicking over to my crappy house!

  • Brian Smingler

    One person (basically) is going to take some time to get to the end and I think you are doing a masterful job of doing so. I look forward to many more posts and one day the finished product.
    Keep on perservering at least itis paid for as you go.
    Brian

    • My Crappy House

      Thanks, Brian! You always post the nicest comments. Staying out of debt is huge for me. Some might find living in chaos stressful, but paying as I go is what keeps me (almost) stress free.

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