• The Case of the Smelly Dishwasher

    Open dishwasher

    My Dishwasher Stinks

    In the five years I’ve had my dishwasher, I’ve never cleaned the inside. I mean, it’s self cleaning, right? It gets washed with, like, every single use. So, I never really gave it much thought until it started to smell. Apparently, you’re supposed to clean the inside of your dishwasher once in a while. (I should’ve known. Self cleaning ovens are a big fat lie too.)

    So, wtf was causing my dishwasher to smell? To the naked eye, it looked squeaky clean, but something must be causing that odor… It was a mystery, I tell you. (One that could have easily been solved by consulting the user manual, but what fun would that be?) Keep reading to follow my investigation: The Case of the Smelly Dishwasher. (Spoiler alert: I cracked this case wide open and my dishwasher now smells like a freaking meadow.)

    Dishwasher with Dirty Magnet Similar Dishwasher Magnet

  • Choosing Pendant Lights for My Kitchen

    Because The World Needs More Pendant Posts

    ‘Twas a year ago (almost to the day) that I asked you if the world needed another post about choosing pendant lights. Not surprisingly at all, you told me that, Yes! It absolutely does!, so I’m finally getting around to it. My goal with this post is to let you know that’s it’s perfectly OK to have your heart set on a certain pendant light, but then to choose a different one. And then another different one. And then, another different one, after that other one.

    In other words, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind— as many times as she freaking wants to. (Sorry, men. You have to stick with your first choice. Changing your mind shows weakness. You also have to throw away the installation instructions. Hey, I don’t make the fake rules. You’ll have to take it up with corporate…)

    Anyway… Behold! My Kitchen.

    Gray kitchen with white counter island and pendant lights

    So, obviously, you know how the kitchen pendant light story ends, but it was a long road getting here. Let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?

  • How to Clean a Room When You’re Gross

    Clean kitchen with messy island

    Cleaning Advice From a Certified Slob

    Well, who can believe this? Who do I even think I am, trying to give you tips on cleaning? You guys know I’m a slob. (Remember my office?) While it’s true that I am totally gross, cleaning a room and keeping a room clean are two very different things. I know I’m the last person you would ever expect to get this advice from, but I actually do know how to clean a room really well. I’ve got a method… And, this week, I’m sharing that method with you. You’re welcome.

    How to clean your house before picture

  • Before and After Crappy House Tour

    Happy Blothday to Me!

    On October 3, 2013, my blog was born. It’s my blog’s 7th birthday! Can you believe it? My, how time flies… In this post, we’ll take a tour of My Crappy House with some shocking before and after photos to celebrate seven years of blogging.

    Also on October 3, in 19-BLEEEEEP, I was born. Here’s a picture of me to celebrate. Guys! It’s my Blothday!

    Yep, that’s really me. I’ve heard there’s not much left for an unborn baby to do in the last month but to pack on the pounds. I guess I really enjoyed my mom’s accommodations (accommommadations?) because I tried to add an extra month to my stay. You know, late checkout. So, on the day I was born, I was already three weeks old and needed a haircut. I weighed ten pounds and twelve ounces.

    Sorry, Mommy.

    But enough about me. It’s blog day! Let’s look at some crappy before and afters, shall we?

  • Choosing and Installing Backsplash Tile

    I’m BACK (splashed) baby!

    Hello, friends! It’s me! You remember, right? It’s… you know… ME! I know it’s been a while, so I’ll go ahead and reintroduce myself. I am Princess Spackle of House Crappy. Once upon a time, I wrote amazingly witty blog posts for your enjoyment and then, I went missing without explanation. (The kids call it “ghosting”.) But, the good news is I did not die! Not that there were any rumors or anything, but really, how would you know? So, whew. Still alive. And hey, we didn’t break up or anything. I still love you. You still love me. (Yeah, you do…) So let’s just put that whole nasty ghost business behind us, shall we? We have lots of crap to catch up on! I’ve missed you!

  • My Bitchin’ Kitchen: Part II

    I promise this is the last time I’m ever going to post this picture of my (not really a kitchen, but doing its best impersonation of a) kitchen. Have I ever mentioned I lived FIVE YEARS with this set up? I feel like I must have told you that at some point…

    kitchen-before-feature

  • My Kitchen Remodel

    My Bitchin’ Kitchen: Part I

    I have been planning my kitchen remodel for a looooooong time. It’s been more than five years with this crappy set up where a kitchen should be:

  • Installing a Wood Floor Over a Sub Floor

    Feature Welcome to Crazy Town

    The Fantastic Floor

    When choosing something big for my home, I will inevitably go on a journey. One that takes me down a secluded winding road, through a scary forest, under a barbed wire fence, over a stream of lava, past a dragon, to a place called Crazy Town.