Personal Humor

Not everything is about DIY. I mean, I do have a life. Sometimes funny stuff happens. Get to know me on a personal level with these off-topic posts.

  • Where Have I Been?

    Let’s Get Real

    In August of 2020, I told you guys that I was going to try to make a living off of My Crappy Blog because freaking COVID destroyed my (formerly) successful business and what else was I supposed to do with my time? Power watch Netflix? (Because that happened…) Shop on Amazon for things I don’t need with money I don’t have? (The delivery guy was a guest at our wedding…)

    Anyway, I promised to post something new every week. And I did post something new every week, up until a few months ago when I fell off the wagon, and I think I may have twisted something because I just haven’t felt right since.

    Lying on the lawn
  • My Creative Process is Procrastination

    Feature image wedding flowers

    I’ve heard that being a creative person and procrastination go hand in hand. Supposedly, procrastination can help fuel creativity. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that my creative process looks something like this:

    My creative process timeline graphic

    It doesn’t matter how much time I have to do a project. I will always wait until the last possible nanosecond to get started on it. I have spent countless hours freaking out over finishing creative projects. I’m sure it’s not good for my health. In fact, the number of hours I’ve spent having these meltdowns will probably be deducted from my overall lifespan…

    Guys, I just realized. I may not have much time left…

  • My Blanket Hog Solution Works!

    Blanket hog feature

    A Thief in the Night

    Raise your hand if this has happened to you: You’re peacefully sleeping, dreaming of sheep, and maybe Ryan Gosling, when you are startled awake by a rush of wind on your body and sudden drop in temperature. WTF just happened?! No, that wasn’t a ghost, it was just your partner twirling away from you, like a freaking Tasmanian devil, thoughtlessly yanking your (shared!) blanket off of your (formerly!) peacefully sleeping body. Like a jerk in the night. A stupid jerk face blanket hog in the night.

    He stole my blanket

  • Snow Sucks. Rage with Me.

    Snowman with scissors in head cat looking on

    Let’s Kill it with a Chainsaw

    Or with manicure scissors… I have a hate|hate relationship with snow. I mean, I hate snow… but I also hate snow. It’s a fine line between hate and hate. That’s where you’ll find snow. And, also, snow sucks.

    Mini snowman stabbed with mini scissors

  • Goodbye, 2020.

    Feature Photobomb

    Don’t let the door hit you on the way out…

    Oh, who am I kidding, 2020? I hope the door does hit you on the way out. I hope it hits you really hard, right in the ass, and it’s covered with murder hornets, and COVID, and it opens directly into hell…

    Goodbye 2020 Doorway to Hell

  • The Surprise We Found Recorded on Our Ring Camera

    Our Ring Camera_Feature

    They’re Heeeere…

    A crappy house is a pretty good crime deterrent. I think the bad guys must figure that a crappy house probably contains crappy stuff, so they don’t even bother. (Low return on crime investment, I guess.) But our house is looking less and less crappy these days, and the less crappy our house looks, the more security becomes a concern.

    The surprise we found recorded on our ring camera

    With that in mind, Schmoopy bought one of those Ring Floodlight Cameras to mount on the garage. We love it. Not only is the motion light very convenient, but knowing we’ll have video of the bad guys when they rob us is strangely comforting.

    So far, we haven’t recorded any criminal activity, but we were surprised by what we found was going on in the wee hours. We had no idea…

  • Building a Shadowbox for an Heirloom

    Shadowbox for heirloom

    Procrastination is in My Blood.

    You’re in the right place. I’m going to show you how I built a shadowbox for an heirloom, but first, I want to tell you a little bit about my grandma. Please indulge me. She passed away when I was only four years old. I only have fuzzy, unfocused (aka misty, watercolor) memories of her that I’m not even sure are real.

    Me and my grandma on my 4th birthday

    Still, from all I’ve been told, I feel like she and I are kindred spirits. My creativity comes from her, as does my propensity for procrastination…

  • I Am a Professional

    Let’s See What This Blog Can Really Do…

    Hi, guys. It’s me. Your favorite blogger who never blogs. If you are one of my followers who wishes I would post more often, well, have I got good news for you! For the last eight years, I’ve had my own successful little freelancing business.

    It is now dead. This stupid virus killed it.

    (No, that’s not the good news. Keep reading…)

  • Some Good News!

    This Changes Everything

    Hi friends! It’s been two months since my last post. Given my track record for post frequency, this one probably comes as an unexpected surprise. But I hope it’s a welcome surprise (like a delicious basket of mini muffins surprise) and not an unwelcome surprise. (Like a freaking worldwide pandemic surprise…)

    Ross Gellars Best Day Mini Muffins

    We sure have entered the Twilight Zone in the last couple of months… But I’m not here to talk to you about all of that. (Smarter, less fun people than I am have that subject covered thoroughly. Exhaustively.) I just thought I would share a little bit of good news with you. And also announce a really big change that has the potential to affect us all!