Personal Humor
Not everything is about DIY. I mean, I do have a life. Sometimes funny stuff happens. Get to know me on a personal level with these off-topic posts.
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What Happens When You Don’t Respect Your Power Tools?
‘Twas a beautiful spring day in 2023. Having just adopted a dog (!), we were upgrading my crappy house to accommodate her. To spare our little Mona Lisa Vito (Yes, that’s her name. I know. Adorable.) from leaping out the back door house hole (as I, myself, had done for the previous twelve years), I finally built some crappy steps. And to keep her from running into traffic (as I, myself, had done… well, just that one time), I built her a fence.
Ah, wouldn’t that be something to brag about? Building a six foot perimeter fence by myself? As if. No, we hired a fence company for this job. Some tasks are just not worth dying for, you know?
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Where Have I Been?
Let’s Get Real
In August of 2020, I told you guys that I was going to try to make a living off of My Crappy Blog because freaking COVID destroyed my (formerly) successful business and what else was I supposed to do with my time? Power watch Netflix? (Because that happened…) Shop on Amazon for things I don’t need with money I don’t have? (The delivery guy was a guest at our wedding…)
Anyway, I promised to post something new every week. And I did post something new every week, up until a few months ago when I fell off the wagon, and I think I may have twisted something because I just haven’t felt right since.
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My Creative Process is Procrastination
I’ve heard that being a creative person and procrastination go hand in hand. Supposedly, procrastination can help fuel creativity. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that my creative process looks something like this:
It doesn’t matter how much time I have to do a project. I will always wait until the last possible nanosecond to get started on it. I have spent countless hours freaking out over finishing creative projects. I’m sure it’s not good for my health. In fact, the number of hours I’ve spent having these meltdowns will probably be deducted from my overall lifespan…
Guys, I just realized. I may not have much time left…
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My Blanket Hog Solution Works!
A Thief in the Night
Raise your hand if this has happened to you: You’re peacefully sleeping, dreaming of sheep, and maybe Ryan Gosling, when you are startled awake by a rush of wind on your body and sudden drop in temperature. WTF just happened?! No, that wasn’t a ghost, it was just your partner twirling away from you, like a freaking Tasmanian devil, thoughtlessly yanking your (shared!) blanket off of your (formerly!) peacefully sleeping body. Like a jerk in the night. A stupid jerk face blanket hog in the night.
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Snow Sucks. Rage with Me.
Let’s Kill it with a Chainsaw
Or with manicure scissors… I have a hate|hate relationship with snow. I mean, I hate snow… but I also hate snow. It’s a fine line between hate and hate. That’s where you’ll find snow. And, also, snow sucks.
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Goodbye, 2020.
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out…
Oh, who am I kidding, 2020? I hope the door does hit you on the way out. I hope it hits you really hard, right in the ass, and it’s covered with murder hornets, and COVID, and it opens directly into hell…
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The Surprise We Found Recorded on Our Ring Camera
They’re Heeeere…
A crappy house is a pretty good crime deterrent. I think the bad guys must figure that a crappy house probably contains crappy stuff, so they don’t even bother. (Low return on crime investment, I guess.) But our house is looking less and less crappy these days, and the less crappy our house looks, the more security becomes a concern.
With that in mind, Schmoopy bought one of those Ring Floodlight Cameras to mount on the garage. We love it. Not only is the motion light very convenient, but knowing we’ll have video of the bad guys when they rob us is strangely comforting.
So far, we haven’t recorded any criminal activity, but we were surprised by what we found was going on in the wee hours. We had no idea…
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A Viking Funeral
Last time on My Crappy House, I framed and hung a piece of my grandma on my wall.
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Building a Shadowbox for an Heirloom
Procrastination is in My Blood.
You’re in the right place. I’m going to show you how I built a shadowbox for an heirloom, but first, I want to tell you a little bit about my grandma. Please indulge me. She passed away when I was only four years old. I only have fuzzy, unfocused (aka misty, watercolor) memories of her that I’m not even sure are real.
Still, from all I’ve been told, I feel like she and I are kindred spirits. My creativity comes from her, as does my propensity for procrastination…
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I Am a Professional
Let’s See What This Blog Can Really Do…
Hi, guys. It’s me. Your favorite blogger who never blogs. If you are one of my followers who wishes I would post more often, well, have I got good news for you! For the last eight years, I’ve had my own successful little freelancing business.
It is now dead. This stupid virus killed it.
(No, that’s not the good news. Keep reading…)
