My Blanket Hog Solution Works!

A Thief in the Night

Raise your hand if this has happened to you: You’re peacefully sleeping, dreaming of sheep, and maybe Ryan Gosling, when you are startled awake by a rush of wind on your body and sudden drop in temperature. WTF just happened?! No, that wasn’t a ghost, it was just your partner twirling away from you, like a freaking Tasmanian devil, thoughtlessly yanking your (shared!) blanket off of your (formerly!) peacefully sleeping body. Like a jerk in the night. A stupid jerk face blanket hog in the night.

He stole my blanket

He stole my blanket

OK, you can put your hand down now. You look like a weirdo.

Guys, this used to happen to me all the time, but I figured out a blanket hog solution. It’s unorthodox. You might think I’m crazy, but hear me out. This is quite possibly the best idea I’ve ever had. I just may be saving relationships, nay lives, with this post. (Because murder used to cross my mind at 3am…) It’s that big. Keep reading…

Sharing a Blanket Sucks

After having my blanket whipped off of my body like a magician doing that tablecloth trick one too many nights, I started looking for a solution. I found this thing called a Cover Clamp. (Mind you, this is not the brilliant solution I am proposing in this post. Don’t click away because of this lame contraption. Just scroll to the next section if you’re in a hurry.) It attaches to your blanket and has this grippy thing that you put between the mattress and the box spring. When your significant other tries to roll away with your blanket, they will be met with resistance.

Cover clamp for blanket hogs

I mean… the thing kinda works, but it wasn’t an ideal solution for me because I like to sleep like a burrito; all wrapped up in the blanket with no gaps for air or ghosts to get in. During the night, when Schmoopy would roll away, the covers (anchored to the mattress on my side) would get taut and leave a giant gap between us, thus destroying my perfect blanket burrito.

No bueno.

In any case, this stupid thing is no longer available; probably because it only kinda worked. I only wrote this part to let you know that others have tried (and failed) to solve the blanket hog issue, so that you would be even more impressed with my brilliant solution…

Hey, Let’s Not Share a Blanket

When I visited China, I stayed in one hotel where the beds had only fitted sheets and duvets*. That’s it. No top sheet. No blanket. I don’t know about where you live, but in America, we use top sheets and blankets under our comforters or bedspreads. (Well, most of us do. Some weirdos don’t. The rest of us think those people are gross.)

So, needless to say, I thought this was nuts (Seriously, no top sheet??), but, guys… I had the best night’s sleep ever in that hotel. Not only could I wrap my body like a burrito, but, because the duvet wasn’t tucked under the mattress anywhere, I could wrap it under my feet too. I thought I’d be cold (with no blanket), but I was warm and toasty all night. The duvet was all I needed!

*Just in case you don’t know wtf a duvet is, it’s basically just a comforter with a removable cover. Duvet inserts (as they are often called) usually have ties at the corners to keep them from shifting around inside their covers.

messy white duvet

With this experience in mind, one day, I suggested to Schmoopy that we might be happier with separate comforters. (OK, I meant me. I might be happier.) Once he realized this was not my subtle way of breaking up with him, he agreed to give it a try.

So, I bought two twin xl sized comforters and two of these duvet covers and ditched our top sheet and blanket, just like that hotel in China… Now, I’m one of those gross, weirdo Americans! (But, not really, because duvet covers are so easy to throw in the washing machine, just like sheets, so you can always have a nice, clean bed.)

With each of us having our own duvet, we can each have a different thickness. Schmoopy is hot blooded (check it and see), so I ordered this lightweight duvet for him. I’m always cold, so I got this one for myself. (FYI, I no longer buy genuine down stuff because I read a thing and I can’t unread that thing, and… Well, Google at your own risk.)

How to Make the Bed with Two Duvets

When we first started using two duvets, making the bed was a challenge. I was never big on making my bed anyway (Who even sees it? It’s only going to get messed up again. What’s the point?), so, usually, it looked like this:

Bed with two messy duvets

But on the rare occasion that I actually tried to make the bed, I would overlap the duvets and it’d look like this:

bed made with two duvets

Not ideal, but at least it looked neat. (On those rare occasions that I cared about such things.) But, one day, I had a brilliant idea. What if I turned them 90 degrees?

So I did and it looked like this…

Bed made with two duvets

Much better, right? Kind of just looks like a normal bed now. You wouldn’t even notice there were two duvets on there…

I made you a little video to show you this (not really) complicated process. (Watch it to the very end for some extra Egor.) Click here if you don’t see it below.

Now, when we get in bed at night, we just rotate the duvets back to their normal position. It takes two seconds.

Bonus Benefit

Aside from completely solving the blanket hog issue, having two duvets oriented this way means I could actually have two different duvet cover designs and it wouldn’t look weird. In fact, that’s what I’m going to do, eventually. If you look at my bedroom design plan, you’ll see what I’m thinking…

Bedroom interior design rendering

Two duvets, with different designs, on one bed. Is your mind blown or what?

The Downside

There’s only one downside to this arrangement and, luckily, it doesn’t apply to me, but it might apply to you. The bed making trick really only works with a queen size bed and smaller. Twin xl duvets are about 90 to 93 inches long. When you arrange them across the bed as I have, they hang down about 16 inches or so on each side of the bed. If you have a king size bed, the duvet would only hang down six or seven inches on either side.

So, basically, if you have a king, you’re stuck making your bed like this:

a bed made with two duvets overlapping

If you ask me, the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Let’s recap and enumerate them, shall we?

  1. It completely solves the blanket hog issue
  2. The risk of murder to your partner is greatly reduced
  3. You and your partner can have different weight duvets
  4. The perfect blanket burrito means no drafts or ghosts can touch you in the night
  5. Two duvet designs on one bed! Need I say more?

Schmoo and I have been using separate duvets for nearly two years now and we’re never going back to the “normal” way. Got questions? Ask me in the comments…

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  • Marilyn

    Hmmmmmmmm….VERY INTERESTING! A unique solution to a common issue many of us deal with, including ME. YES, I also live with a blanket hog. My solution has been to keep a separate small throw right above my head in our bookcase headboard but that has drawbacks like having to SIT UP, TURN AROUND, GRAB THE THROW, SHAKE IT OUT, AND TRY TO COVER MY WHOLE BODY. I may has well just GET UP and make breakfast at 3am! I like your idea of a second duvet or even blanket! You are a smart gal my friend!

    • My Crappy House

      This has really worked for us! I don’t know how the whole “let’s share one blanket” tradition started, but it was a dumb idea!

  • Katherine Davies

    I’m afraid I have no questions, only another massively boring and probably know-it-all comment from that place where I live across the pond.

    Having lived here across the pond for 20 years now, I learned about duvets some time ago, as my British schmoopy would not, and will not, countenance American ways. He, too, is a terrible duvet hog, though, in all fairness, he tries not to be. I have actually seen people over here using two different duvets for exactly the reasons you describe and thought it a super idea. Unlike your schmoopy, however, mine never agrees to give anything a try as he is old and set in his very British ways. So it seems I am stuck in a nighttime world of ghostlike breezes and a cold tush until death do us part.

    Murder seems a little harsh, but time will tell.

    • My Crappy House

      I find your posts from across the pond fascinating! (I’m already making paper fishes for next year’s shenanigans…) So, what’s up with your Brit not letting you add another duvet? It’s not like you’d be taking his away… I think you should just add one and see what happens

  • Joan

    I live alone, so no blanket hog for me and nothing for me to worry about in that dept. The video was worth the ending for Egor! LOL

  • Julie Perkins

    You are inventive and hilarious. I do not have a blanket hog but loved everything about this post. When I see one of your emails pop up in my in box I get happy, so thank you and your blanket hog.


  • Brenda

    My husband and I had the exact same issue. We called it The Tuck and Roll. As in, he would grab the covers, tuck them under his chin, and roll away from me leaving me open to the cold air. We bought two twin duvets about 10 years ago and it’s been marital bliss since.

    • My Crappy House

      Haha the tuck and roll! I don’t know why everyone doesn’t use two blankets. It’s sooo much better! The divorce rate would probably drop exponentially…

    • My Crappy House

      I’m glad you’re not letting beloved’s feelings stand in the way of your happiness. Sleep is much too important! Sometimes not sharing is caring…

  • Charisse DeLima

    This is exactly the reason my grandmother use to quilt 2 twin blankets to give as a wedding present to the couple. She would write her note full of wisdom and the last advice listed was to always have 2 quilts on your bed to keep the peace.

  • Wilma

    we just use two queen sized duvets (both with the same white covers from ikea). then we just stack them on top of each other to make the bed. easy peasy.

    • My Crappy House

      That totally works too! I just don’t prefer all of that extra blanket poufiness on the bed. I find the twin makes for a good sized burrito, but your way definitely makes for a less complicated bed making situation.

  • Barbara H.

    Don’t have to share with anyone except the cats. Egor fell down on the job though – cats have a rule that they MUST get underneath the sheet, blanket, duvet while the bed is being made up. Oh wait, that’s what happens when I have washed the sheets and am putting the bed back together. So maybe Egor gets a pass this time.

    • My Crappy House

      Oh, yes. He never fails to do his job when the sheets are clean. His task this particular day was just showing up for the camera. He totally nailed it.

  • Jean

    I love this idea except for one thing: doesn’t it require a lot of time/effort to stuff/unstuff the duvet each time? I change sheets weekly and do use a duvet on top. I change the duvet cover seasonally and it’s a struggle that I would hate to have to do every week.

    • My Crappy House

      True, it’s not as easy as changing sheets, but, with practice, it becomes much easier and it no longer bothers me. I have a system

  • Em

    This is also a king-size problem at our house… Plus, our sleep rules are completely bizarre to begin with..Mr doesn’t like sheets (weirdo) so he sleeps on them and traps me in. Then he rolls over and takes the blankets. My current line of defense is to tuck the covers under me, as I tend to stay in place these days.

    Your solution is genius! And your kitty is a very cute ham!

    • My Crappy House

      Haha you’ve got a weird layered thing going on. Like a chalupa? I dunno. Some other Taco Bell item besides a burrito.

      So, might I suggest ditching the sheets all together in favor of the two duvet system? It’s the best thing ever!

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