My Tufted Green Velvet Couch

Sofa, So Good

I had four months and this crazy idea that I might actually be able to install my floor before my beautiful tufted green velvet couch arrived. I mean… four months. (That’s a third of a year, in case you suck at math.) But four months goes by really quickly. I actually did get some stuff done in that time, but I may have been a bit overly optimistic when I came up with that silly floor idea. (Which is weird, because optimism is totally not my thing.) I promise to fill you guys in on what I’ve accomplished lately, but this post is all about this beauty

My Tufted Green Velvet Couch

Oooooo… Ahhhh…. I’m affectionately calling it the “Green Monster”. And I lurve it!

Unfortunately, so does Egor…

Will my cat shred my green velvet couch?

I’m keeping a close watch on him. So far, he’s being good, but I’m not taking any chances. I glued on these kitty nail covers so he won’t do any damage if he decides to start clawing. He wasn’t happy about it at first, but he’s slowly acclimating to them.

Cat wearing nail covers

Don’t make fun. He’s sensitive. (And, before anyone yells at me for being cruel to my kid cat, they don’t hurt him at all. Go hug a tree or something.)

My couch arrived on October 17th. That’s almost 3 weeks ago. It needed no assembly. All I did was let the delivery guys in. They even put the cushions on it for me. So why has it taken me so freaking long to write this post? I actually do have a valid reason: I was going to change the legs and then tell you all about it.

WTF is Wrong with the Legs?

See, my dream couch has these legs:

And my Green Monster has these legs:

My Tufted Green Velvet Couch

They’re not the same. Like, at all. Easy fix, right? I can just screw on new legs! Except that I can’t. Here’s how my legs are attached.

Leg style on my Tufted Green Velvet Couch

With two off-center screws instead of one centered hanger bolt. Now, of course I could do it. You know it. I know it. I bought all of the supplies. I picked up these legs from Lowe’s.

Turned wooden couch leg

And I bought new hanger bolts (because the ones they came with are too short) and, since I’d have to drill new holes in the couch, I bought t-nuts and I also bought stain and poly because I couldn’t find legs I liked that were pre-finished.

And then I had a conversation with myself that went like this:

Me: “WTF are you doing?”
Me: “Duh. I’m replacing these ugly couch legs.”
Me: “They’re really not that ugly.”
Me: “Whatever. What do you know?”
Me: “Does anybody but you really look at couch legs?”
Me: “Yuh huh! Everybody does.”
Me: “No, they don’t. How crazy do you want to be?”
Me: “Um…”
Me: “Don’t you have enough to do?”
Me: “Well…”
Me: “Got a kitchen yet?”
Me: “Yeah, OK. I see your point.”

So, I returned all of my supplies. For now, I’m just going to live with these stupid contemporary legs that Martha Stewart decided to put on her version of the (hello! classic!) Chesterfield sofa because she’s clueless about furniture design and should probably just stick to crafts she can make with her stupid glue gun.

Making Progress in My Living Room

Anyway, I thought you’d all like to know that my living room is coming together nicely. Here’s a picture of how it looked the last time you saw it.

a sparse and depressing living room

And here it is now…

Living room set up with My Tufted Green Velvet Couch

It’s starting to make me happy… And a happy me is a productive me!

(I totally just made that up. One has nothing to do with the other.)

***Time travel links! It’s been nearly six years since I got my beautiful, tufted, green, velvet couch. Want to know how the Green Monster is holding up? Did Egor shred it? Did I ever change those legs? Find out right here.

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  • SilvanaJoanne

    I love the couch and think it looks amazing. I’ve never seen those nail covers for cats before…Interesting…I’ll have to see if they sell those in Italy. My kitty is slowly clawing to death my dining room chairs.

    • My Crappy House

      There are two brands in the US (that I know of). Soft Paws (which may be the originator, as they are more expensive) and Purrdy Paws (the ones I got), both on Definitely worth checking out to save those chairs!

  • judy

    I pinned, pinned, pinned you- of course nobody looks at my pins so sorry I will not be the instrument of your ascendance into the rarefied atmosphere of the famous or even the infamous…. much more interesting type of people.

    • My Crappy House

      Thanks for the pins! I think maybe all of the cool people read me already. (There are apparently just not that many cool people in the world…)

  • Terhi

    The couch looks amazing! I love the color, I love the shape, I love Egor.
    I’ve never heard of those nail thingies either, must be an american thing. I regularly cut the nails (just a bit) from one of my cats because he doesn’t know how to use them and gets stuck on the carpet, on the drapes, on the sheets, on my clothes. But he’s so used to it that he doesn’t mind the cutting, I just need to be really careful not to cut too much. My other cat can keep his nails because he knows how to pull them in. They also have three scratching posts so couch scratching hasn’t been an issue. Hopefully Green Monster stays scratch free.

    • My Crappy House

      Egor is so good with letting me cut his nails. He doesn’t even need to be restrained. He just lies there on his back and purrs, so I thought he’d be a good candidate for the caps. (Even though I do keep his nails short, he still manages to do damage. He’s an overachiever…) He let me put the caps on without any problem at all. In the beginning, he chewed a few off, but now he seems to have forgotten they’re there.

      I have a great scratching post for him that he does use, but I guess he needs variety. I have a chair that he used to love to shred until I finally covered it with a sheet. As soon as I did that, he turned his attention to my love seat. He had never bothered that before. So now I’m worried that when I finally let the love seat go, he’ll become focused on the Green Monster.

  • Lisa

    Told ya those legs were fine. They really are. And for reals, no one (but you) looks at couch legs unless they happen to be the absolute focal point of the couch, which they’re not. The couch is gorgeous and I enjoyed my time on it with you and Egor and Tommy Wiseau.

    • My Crappy House

      You were actually my first visiting butt to sit on it. Special guest butt. You are welcome any time ever

    • My Crappy House

      I agree! I would never declaw any cat. Cats claw. It’s what they do. (Sounds like a Geico commercial…)

    • Louise

      I’ve never had any negative experiences with any of my declawed cats–all happy campers– but that’s great that Egor is a good manicure candidate…and the color looks divine on him!

  • Le

    Ouuuu so nice. I really don’t look at couch legs so I would not have noticed…but now that you have pointed it out, I will notice how much nicer the new ones would have been. So in some future date, you better change them up! Or it will eat away at my soul every time I think about it. >.<

    Poor Egor. I know it doesn't hurt him but I tried to go with gel nails once and although it looks really nice, I still constantly know that something is on my nail and I can't stand it. I guess I lack the mental fortitude for fancy nails. Hopefully, Egor is stronger than I am.

    • My Crappy House

      Yeah, you know I can’t let this go. My obsessive brain won’t let me. I’ll have to change the legs eventually. I just don’t know when. (Or maybe I ordered a set of finished legs on Ebay last night from China…)

      Egor has got mental fortitude in spades. He’s the mentalest fortitudest of any cat I know. He can do it!

  • Miz Kizzle

    I agree that the fancy legs are better, but the ones that came with the couch are fine. There are probably people out there who notice couch legs, just as there are probably people who really, REALLY like couch legs, if you get my meaning.
    To each his own.
    You really don’t need a kitchen. I only use mine as a place to feed the dog.

  • marilyn

    Hi V, Great post, lots if laughs, and today I needed that! LOVE the couch, SUCH a beautiful color. I notice legs on couches, but I’m also obsessed with hub caps on cars! Later on change the legs, no hurry, but still NO KITCHEN!!

    • My Crappy House

      I didn’t know you had a thing with hubcaps. See, the details DO matter! I am going to change the legs, but I couldn’t hold this post up any longer. I really wanted everyone to see how pretty my couch turned out. I couldn’t be happier with the color!

  • Missy

    I love the couch and I love the way it changes the color of the room. Your living room looks like it can be lived in now! Kudos!

  • Debrashoppeno5

    I like the couch. I like how Egor’s nails coordinate with the couch. Why would Martha change the legs? We will never know but you can add it to the to do list. The never ending list all DIYer’s and homeowners have. Just enjoy your beautiful living room for now.

    • My Crappy House

      I’m going to tone Egor’s nails down for next time. I figured I should buy a color that was super bright to start with so I could easily see if he’d chewed them off. Next I think I’ll get him bad-ass black. Goth kitty…

  • Tina

    I love the color scheme. I wouldn’t have expected the colors to go together… but they look amazing. I like decorating that doesn’t look exactly like the decorating of every home on HGTV. Bravo, My Crappy House Chiquita.

    • My Crappy House

      Thank you! I love unexpected color combinations. I seriously do not get white or beige walls. Be brave!

  • Margaret

    Love the couch!!! Great color, never would have guessed it would look so good in the living room. The legs on the couch take away from the rich look of the fabric, color and design. Better looking legs, better looking couch. I’m just sayin!!!

    • My Crappy House

      Nope, you’re right. I actually did end up ordering some pre-finished legs from China on Ebay the other night. They won’t be here until December, but I’m definitely changing these out

  • Jenny

    Your couch is gorgeous, and the colour is amazing. You know what I really really really love? The seat under the window. I can’t remember what it’s called right now, but I think it makes the room so far. Love it.

    • My Crappy House

      When you remember what it’s called, please tell me! I didn’t know my bench had a name. I saw the bench a couple of weeks ago in Home Goods and, though I had no idea where to put it, I had to have it. You can’t really see any detail in the pic I posted, but it’s super cool. Leather with some decorative studs on the legs.

    • My Crappy House

      I’ve got definite progress dates in November to move forward on the dining room floor. I’ll keep you posted…

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