Do You Want to Know What a Panel Door Is?
All I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more. This post turned out to be much longer than I’d anticipated. Yes, it’s about how to paint a panel door with a brush, but it’s become so much more than that. More than I could have ever imagined. Maybe it’s more than you want. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You click the BLUE LINK – you skip right to the information you came here for, and believe… whatever you want to believe. You click the RED LINK – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes…
Welcome to My Rabbit Hole
Yeah. I heard it.
After painting it a lovely shade of gray, and updating the trim, My Crappy House is more attractive than it has ever been! Which… is really not saying very much at all. The landscaping and driveway still look like hell, but those are big ticket items and I just paid for a big ticket wedding. Who has any big ticket money left? Not me!
Painting a crappy front door is one way to gain a little bit of curb appeal without spending big ticket money. If the eyes in your face are the windows to your soul, then the front door to your home is the portal to… your living room, probably. Maybe a foyer, if you’re fancy. (No, not Narnia. That’s a different door.)
There’s No Place Like Home
I dreamed of an end table that was smart and courageous with a lot of heart. (Which is a weird list of requirements for an end table, but just go with it.) I searched high and low. Near and far. Had there been a Wizard, I… well, I probably wouldn’t have wasted my one ‘Wizard ask’ on a silly end table, but in the end, it didn’t matter. It was right there with me all along! If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own crappy house. What do you have in your inventory? Shop your own house and see…
Sofa, Still So Good
Once upon a time, there lived a handsome sofa named Saybridge. I wasn’t looking for love, but, as the proverbial saying goes, that’s when love found me… My relationship with Saybridge began six years ago in a romantic Macy’s showroom. We’re still together, but… are we still happy? Wouldn’t you like to know…
(Yes, I get that’s why you’re here. Keep reading.)
Come to The Dark Side
Do you ever fantasize about painting your boring, white trim a really dark color? I mean, white trim has its place, sure, but sometimes it just feels so… meh. So… ordinary. I don’t know about you, but I prefer extra-ordinary. Actually, scratch the ordinary part. I prefer extra. Painting white trim dark is totally extra. For our purposes, in this post, that’s a good thing.
Nay, a great thing.
Check out the bold, glossy, black trim in my extra dressing room, below. (No, not an extra dressing room. I don’t have two dressing rooms. I’m not a Kardashian. We literally just established what extra means in this post. Try to focus, please.)
Cleaning Advice From a Certified Slob
Well, who can believe this? Who do I even think I am, trying to give you tips on cleaning? You guys know I’m a slob. (Remember my office?) While it’s true that I am totally gross, cleaning a room and keeping a room clean are two very different things. I know I’m the last person you would ever expect to get this advice from, but I actually do know how to clean a room really well. I’ve got a method… And, this week, I’m sharing that method with you. You’re welcome.
Happy Blothday to Me!
On October 3, 2013, my blog was born. It’s my blog’s 7th birthday! Can you believe it? My, how time flies… In this post, we’ll take a tour of My Crappy House with some shocking before and after photos to celebrate seven years of blogging.
Also on October 3, in 19-BLEEEEEP, I was born. Here’s a picture of me to celebrate. Guys! It’s my Blothday!
Yep, that’s really me. I’ve heard there’s not much left for an unborn baby to do in the last month but to pack on the pounds. I guess I really enjoyed my mom’s accommodations (accommommadations?) because I tried to add an extra month to my stay. You know, late checkout. So, on the day I was born, I was already three weeks old and needed a haircut. I weighed ten pounds and twelve ounces.
But enough about me. It’s blog day! Let’s look at some crappy before and afters, shall we?
What Sorcery is This?
Having been well established in My Crappy House for many years, surrounded by all of my many crappy possessions, you would think that it would have been a challenge making room for Schmoo when he moved in with me. It wasn’t. Lucky for me, he wasn’t attached to much of his stuff. Just his clothes, tools, a few manscaping products, some books, and a handful of treasures.
This post is about the treasures.
The Fantastic Floor
When choosing something big for my home, I will inevitably go on a journey. One that takes me down a secluded winding road, through a scary forest, under a barbed wire fence, over a stream of lava, past a dragon, to a place called Crazy Town.
I’ve made it super easy for you to keep up with my blog this year. It’s now June and I’ve only written two posts. Two. (Well, three, if you count this one…) See, I know you’re busy, so I didn’t want to burden you with tons of fascinating post reading. I’m always thinking of you. You’re welcome.
And that’s a random picture of Egor for you to enjoy. You’re welcome. Again…