“Hey. Fig tree. How you doin’?”
“Um… not so good, actually…”
My fig tree is pissed! Here it is, mid June, and there’s not a leaf in site. You may recall me bragging about how tough my fig tree is. That post is here if you want to read it (and why wouldn’t you?), but I basically said that my tree needs no coddling from me to survive the harshness of a New York winter because she’s one tough bitch. Turns out, she’s a spiteful one too. She’s been flipping me the middle branch all spring.
As far as I can tell, she’s not dead. She’s sleeping in. I do that too, but there comes a point where you have to wake the F up. Do your job, tree! If I slept through work, I’d get fired! OK, no I wouldn’t because I’m the boss, but still. Make my figs, you lazy ass tree!