The Major Award in My Bay Window

It’s Fra-gee-lay

I’m so excited! A Major Award!!! I’m going to display it proudly in my new bay window for all the world to see. What did I do to get this Major Award?

A Christmas Story fragile box

Well, I bought it, of course. If you’re not confused right now, then we can continue to be friends and you may skip to the next paragraph if you like. However, if you have no earthly idea WTF I’m talking about, you need to go watch A Christmas Story right now! It’s the only way you will fully appreciate this post. Seriously, go ahead. I’ll wait. Come back when you’re done…

Jeez, can you believe there are actually people who have never seen that movie? It’s a freaking classic! So, while the cool people wait for everyone to catch up, I’ll talk a little about that bay window I mentioned. Last November my crappy house didn’t have a bay window. It had a sad, drafty, flat, boring, bayless window. I’ve always loved bay windows. I grew up in a house with one. We had a little dog named Cassie that would sit up there all the time and watch the world go by. I really wanted Egor to have a spot like that.

Yes, I bought my cat a bay window. Don’t judge me.

My crappy house before bay window installed

my crappy house before bay window installed

I made a goal last year (in 2012) to have all of my open walls closed by Christmas (also 2012, wise ass). I wasn’t quite financially ready to install the window, but it really made sense to put it in before installing drywall. So, last November, I dropped the hammer (on my credit card) and bought a beautiful, new bay window. I had nothing to do with installation on this project. Some things are better left to the pros…

my crappy house before bay window installed

my crappy house during bay window installation

Egor the cat in the window after bay window installation

Egor is so spoiled! I hope he appreciates me…

my crappy house after bay window installation

my crappy house from afar after bay window installation

Doesn’t it look awesome? Sort of makes the rest of the house look crappier by comparison… Anyway, now I have the perfect place to display my Major Award! (Egor will just have to share his spot.) I know all of you who had never seen A Christmas Story are no longer lost (because you listened to me and dropped whatever you were doing to watch it right when I said to because you respect me immensely and even though we may not technically know each other you trust me implicitly) and can now join the rest of us in admiring this:

A Christmas Story leg lamp decoration in my bay window

Ahh, the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window… What could be more festive than that? Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra… 

*** Time travel links! My Crappy House has come a long way since this post. Click here to see the updates.

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  • dbmojo

    Fantastic and congrats! I just recently discovered this blog, and it’s a major inspiration. Love your sense of humor as well, so thanks

  • Mom

    I was 67 years old before I watched a Christmas Story for the first time and that was just because you made me…..I’m just saying. BTW I love your blog.

  • angela

    I like your blog a lot and as i read the things you say you really make me laugh,you seem to be a fine,funny and lovely lady.Thank you!

    • My Crappy House

      lol I know, right? I LOVE that lamp! I live on a pretty busy road so it makes me happy that people driving by might get a kick out of it.

  • MJ

    You sure you didn’t pinch that lamp from the waiting room of my old doctor who retired a few years a go? He was as good a doctor as that lamp is a good lamp. If you take my meaning. (He waited too long to retire..which means I’m pretty good at medical diagnosis now. I had to do enough of it while he was “working” for me).
    Anyway, I’m sure your neighbors love that lamp. Do (rude) men knock on the front door at night? LOL
    Love your blog. You remind me of me…….except you have youth on your side….drat!
    Keep up the good work……

    • My Crappy House

      I live on a pretty busy road, so I get a lot of “honks” as people drive by during the holiday season. Once, as I was getting out of my car, a guy drove by and yelled “nice ass!” I wondered how he even saw my ass hidden behind the car, but I then realized he actually yelled “nice lamp!”

  • Beverly Ann

    I’m pretty sure you are my new best friend! I too just bought a house and our writing styles are similar…this is by far the best website I have found to date! You are friggen hilarious and I know I am! I’m inspired to start my own website instead of my big ass group on Facebook. Seriously. This is the best. From one artist and seriously funny person to another? Cheers to all your dreams comin true! Hugs from Western Mountain Moss & Apothecary Studios up in Maine!

    • My Crappy House

      I love when my people find me! Welcome! I think the interwebs needs more hilarious people like us, so definitely do start that blog. Do you already have a big ass group on Facebook? Cuz I’ll join it… Oh, yes I will…

      Schmoo and I just booked our honeymoon in Maine. We’ve never been, but we’re excited to check it out

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