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DIY Electrical Wiring
Sometimes I Like to Pretend I’m an Electrician
You know the feeling when you shuffle your feet on the carpet and then (accidentally!) touch the cat? (Sorry, Egor…) Touching a live wire is not like that. It’s more of a pulse than a shock. If you were thinking you might like to try it, my advice would be… do not. (I may have just saved your life. You’re welcome.)
So, why was I playing with electricity? Well, my crappy house had crappy wiring, of course. Aluminum…
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I Turned a Spare Bedroom into a Dressing Room
It’s More Than a Closet. It’s a Sanctuary.
What do you do when you’re somehow amazingly able to find an affordable house with three bedrooms and you really only need two? Well, duh! You turn that superfluous bedroom into a dream closet, of course! A dressing room. How many people actually get to have their own dressing room? Celebrities. Rich people. And me!
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Removing Load Bearing Walls
Wallectomy: The Surgical Removal of Load Bearing Walls
I moved into my crappy house in July of 2011. By January of 2012 I had made little progress on the east wing due to the fact that removing load bearing walls is neither easy nor free. Who knew? (Only just everyone.) Performing a wallectomy isn’t like removing any old wall. You do it wrong and your house basically falls down. It dies. No one wants a dead house, so I had to leave it to the professionals. Luckily, my cousin (Tommy) is one of those, and he likes me, so he eventually made some time to help me out. On the last day of January, I got the call. His exact words? “I’m coming tomorrow. Get the f*ck out.” So Egor and I did.
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Literally Hundreds of Scary Wasps Hiding in My Wall!
OK, maybe I exaggerated a little bit to get your attention. First of all, this picture is not a wasp, it’s a scary hornet. And second of all, the wasps were in the walls. At some point. A while ago. Then they packed up their crap and moved out. This house was too crappy, even for them.
And maybe it wasn’t hundreds. Probably not.
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My Crappy Basement
Don’t go down the stairs! Just trust me…
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I ♥ My Bathroom
Ironically, my bathroom was the first room in my house to stop being crappy. (Get it? Bathroom…? Crappy…? Oh, never mind.) It was fully renovated before I moved in and it didn’t cost me anything. I know! What??
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Torn Apart and Reassembled
I got the keys to my crappy house on Wednesday, May 18, 2011. On Saturday, I showed up with my pry bar and hammer, ready to kick some ass and do some demo. As I mentioned before, I was very delusional at this point and I fully expected to be able to tear a whole house apart, remodel it, and then put it back together again. In 2 months. By myself. Just me. You would think I was high, but no. Drugs are stupid. And unnecessary. I come by my delusions naturally.
The demo was uneventful. I didn’t uncover any antique jewelry boxes stuffed in the walls or a sack of money or human bones. I did uncover one interesting find though. This was behind the paneling in the first room I tore apart.
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Before and After Floor Plans
What’s the Plan?
I have so much I want to share with you, but let’s start at the very beginning. (A very good place to start.) When I first saw My Crappy House, I could tell it had so much potential. Like a diamond in the rough. (OK, maybe not a diamond. Maybe like… a high quality cubic zirconia. In the rough.) It just needed a makeover. Keep reading to see the before and after floor plans of My Crappy House remodel.
I closed on My Crappy House in mid May and planned to move in mid July, leaving me ample time to renovate. Yes, I seriously thought that the major structural changes I’m about to share with you could be accomplished in two months.
By me.
Just… me.
Because, you know, how hard could it be? Watch a few YouTube videos… Buy some tools… Knock down a couple of walls… Easy peasy.
This was the first of many delusions.
