Master Bedroom Ideas: Design

Middle Bedroom Syndrome

My master bedroom is the ‘Jan Brady‘ of my crappy house. For the last ten years, it’s been completely ignored. Overlooked. Forgotten. Watching the other two bedrooms get all of the attention while it just sat there, all sad and neglected. I’m sure it has a complex by now and will need lots of therapy. You’ve seen the other two rooms many times. My dressing room (the popular one with all the internet admirers) and my offith (the cute and thmart one) have been featured many times on My Crappy House. I’m thinking it’s finally time to pay some attention to poor ‘Jan’. Let’s talk about my master bedroom ideas!

(My design ideas, you weirdos. This is not that kind of blog.)

Master Bedroom Design Concept

Hey, nice painting, right? I call it, “Synchronous Boudoir Realities.” If you believe in parallel universes, then there’s a reality out there where I already have a beautiful bedroom. (In fact, in that reality, I finished working on my crappy house ages ago and sold it for nine times what I paid for it and retired early and moved to the English countryside.) Of course, we’re not in that reality. We’re in this one. Remember?

My messy bedroom

This room has always been an afterthought. Actually, no. It’s been a neverthought. Like, I never think about it. Aside from replacing the windows, I’ve done literally nothing to improve it in ten years. No wonder it’s depressed. I haven’t even bothered to keep it tidy.

Clean Rooms are Better

Don’t worry. This is not another cleaning post, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t brag about the wonderful job I did in here this past week. I used that cleaning method I told you about a few weeks ago. It really works!

(Why, yes, I would like your praise for this accomplishment. And a gold star, too? Oh, thank you! You’re very kind.)

You may have noticed my messy vanity above. I have no idea what to do with all of my makeup crap. Clearly, I have a problem, but that’s an issue for another post.

My messy vanity

Some Crappy Repairs

Before I can make with the pretty, I’ve got some repairs to do. The sheetrock in this corner has never been right and the edges stick out in a bunch of places, which will make installing trim a pain in the arse. I need to rip it out and replace it.

Poorly sheetrocked corner

Poorly sheetrocked edge

I’ve also got some water damage near one of the windows that I have to fix.

Window leak damage to tape

Then I have a bunch of popping screws to tighten. I have no idea why so many popped. Maybe it was my bedroom, desperately trying to get my attention. It didn’t work, Jan…

Popping sheetrock screw

Make With the Pretty

Once I take care of those things, and add all of the moldings (this room has none), then we can start focusing on the pretty. I’ve always thought a muted grayish purple would look nice in here, so I’ve been collecting swatches.

Paint swatches in a pile for master bedroom paint ideas

Are you sensing another trip to Crazy Town? Because I totally am… But, before I buy samples of every dusky, muted purple from every hardware store within a 50 mile radius so I can paint a ridiculous number of swatches on my bedroom walls, how about I start with a mood board?

My Master Bedroom Ideas

Here’s what I’m thinking…

Master Bedroom Mood Board

Chandelier | Lamp | Rug | Headboard | Sheets | Curtains


Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind about any (or every) part of this design, but as of right now, I’m totally diggin’ it. Some kind of dusty, twilighty, muted, purplish gray-type color on the walls; a darker, brownish purple-like ceiling; dark trim; shades of neutral and goldish brown in the curtains and bedding; antique gold accessories and hardware… All dark and moody. Perfect for sleeps. My favorite thing.

Bedroom interior design rendering

I am now on the hunt for all sorts of bedroom décor goodies. I just love browsing T.J. Maxx and Home Goods with a purpose. In the meantime, I guess I’ll start on those repairs…

My least favorite thing.

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    • My Crappy House

      Me too! My designs tend to evolve as I implement them, but I really like how this looks in the concept.

  • Em

    First, that clean up! Sooooo impressive! I am likewise in cleanup mode now that my last holiday visitor has reflown the coop, leaving wrappers and beverage cans as a happy reminder of his visit. I am however, less motivated and therefore making less progress.

    Tip for your makeup collection: use a tray underneath so you can remove it and clean the vanity quickly, or stuff it under the bed if getting it out of sight altogether is needed.

    Jan is going to look groovy after her makeover. And this is waaaay better than some dark wig coverup! George Glass will DEFinitely want to spend time there!

    Btw, if you’re looking for the perfect purple, maybe try an “Eve Plum.”

    • My Crappy House

      I love how you’ve embracing the Brady vibe in your comment! I experienced a giggle bubble when I read “Eve Plum”. Usually, I can manage to just laugh in my head so I don’t look like a weirdo, but it was totally involuntary. (Only Zero was witness.)

      I’m working on redoing another piece of furniture for my vanity that has a few drawers. I’m hoping that’ll mitigate the problem, but I do love the tray idea. So many tiny tubes and sticks and compacts. And I need every single one, so…

    • Trollopian

      Yeah, I’m a fan of trays for corraling medium items. Not so much for small items. As you say, you can lift the tray and dust underneath and around. But what about the stuff on the tray? It gets dusty too. Very dusty.

      So I’d argue for a lidded basket. Or even a repurposed jewelry box.

    • My Crappy House

      You’ve got a good point too. I use mineral powder foundation and it gets everywhere. Hopefully, my new vanity drawers will be big enough to house it all.

  • Ellen Shook

    I have a far bigger addiction than you with cosmetics, but then I am much older so I need a lot more help. What works for me is a vanity table (vintage Drexel found at estate sale and repainted by me) which is styled like a “knee hole” desk with three drawers on each side and one long shallow one in the middle. You can practically get an entire Sephora store’s inventory in there!

    • My Crappy House

      I’ve been on the hunt for a vintage vanity to refurbish for ages, but I haven’t had much luck. I did find a table that I plan to use as my vanity that does have a bit more storage – a center drawer and a larger one on each side. I’m hoping that’ll do the trick, but if not, I’ll still keep on hunting for the real deal. Right now, it’s in the garage in mid-refurbishness. It’s too damned cold out there to make any progress on it for now. I can’t wait for spring!!!

    • My Crappy House

      Isn’t it dreamy??? I’ve had that in my Amazon “save for later” section for ages. I think it’s perfect for a bedroom.

      And I’m happy to help with the cleaning system! I promise it works

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